The Birthday does not answer Asks that are not requests for admission. But I have some thoughts.
Look: I love sexy costumes. If you want to be a sexy lamp, go with the Great Pumpkin and be fabulous in your fringe and your heels and your sexiness.
What I have an issue with is the way that “sexy” is more and more consistently the only option offered to women above the age of four. Yes, four. Four and under, you get the unisex costumes. When I search “corn costume,” I find adorable toddlers dressed as ears of corn and big triangular candy corn, and it’s like something out of Gravity Falls. So cute.
But then you hit five/six, and the gendered costumes become inescapable. No more cute unisex for you: things are either cut too large to work on the average female body—the only non-sexy store-bought corn costume is for an adult male, and I know men who would be swimming in the thing—or they are sexy. Sexy sexy sexy. Why would you even be going out on Halloween, if you didn’t want to sexy? SEXY IS THE NEW CREEPY.
The sexy costumes, the short skirts and the low bodices and the package pictures with pouty lips and thrusting hips and “this is the norm,” start at six years old. Frequently, it’s just the adult costume sized down, maybe with some tights and a slightly higher neckline. Maybe not.
Going to the Halloween store should not feel like a trip to the lingerie store. Especially not when I’m going there with kids who want a costume that will stand up to collecting all the candy ever.
"Just make your own" isn’t really an option in a world where we don’t prioritize learning to sew. Paying someone to make you one is equally not an option: if you’re at the Spirit Store, looking sadly at the sexy corn, you probably can’t afford a bespoke costume.
If “Sexy Corn” was part of a range that included “Corn—large,” “Corn—small,” “Sexy Corn—miniskirt version,” and “Sexy Corn—assless chaps version,” I would be fine with it. As it exists, right now, it is representative of a larger issue with how Halloween has been sexualized, and how we start limiting the choices of our girls as early as FIVE FUCKING YEARS OLD.
The Great Pumpkin does not approve. And neither do I.